Weird dreams

I has some weird dreams last night that seemed to be connected to dreams of the night before. I have been thinking about starting a separate blog to record my dreams but I am not sure I want to get that into it. I used to belong to some dream interpretation lists and it was a lot of fun but it really took up a lot of time. These dreams seem to be very related to my daytime life and are screaming to be interpreted.

2 nights ago: The Sweatshirt dream

I was at my place of work (which looked much different than it is in reality. It looked more like the school where I attended 6th grade). A number of people were wearing grey sweatshirts with the work logo and some exotic place name (e.g. Bahamas). I knew that they were the higher ups and they were able to go to a special work retreat in these wonderful places. I also knew that I was not one of the higher ups and I hated them for wearing the sweatshirts, flaunting their specialness.

Last night: Discovery/race dream

I and a colleague made a great discovery and our supervisor (who isn't actually our current supervisor but was my supervisor previously) claimed it for himself and all of his colleagues (the higher ups) went to a bar to celebrate. Some of them (the nicer ones) called me (actually paged me on this strange paging device) to join them since they knew it was really my discovery. I was so angry and bitter that I put the pager under a pillow and ignored it. Later there was a big race (running). I friend of mine won but I was still upset and I didn't congratulate her. She was mad at me and later I found a birthday card and bouquet of flowers she bought me but didn't give me. Oh, and the whole time I was a man (at least I had the parts) and I was only partially dressed so my, shall we say maleness, was displayed for all to see. I tried to cover my nakedness a few times and was uncomfortable about it but could never completely cover it.

Both these dreams had a lot of bitterness and anger with respect to work.

Looking up some of the key objects in Betty Bethards "The Dream Book":

Being nude - totally open and exposed, not trying to hide who or what you are.

But I was trying to hide myself and I was something that I didn't know I was, actually the opposite (male rather than female) of what I thought I was and what I had been 'pretending' to be. Hmmm.

Bouquet - celebration of growth, pat yourself on the back for a job you've done well.

Well I didn't receive the bouquet. I found it discarded in the trash and it was because of my attitude that it wasn't given to me. In essence I rejected it before it could be offered.

Birthday - celebration of a new part of yourself coming into being

Again, I rejected it.

My friend who won the race was older than me and blond, she reminds me a bit of my mother.

Mother - older, wiser, more experience self

That seems to fit. My older self has run the race and won and she wants to give me something, something about growth and a new self but I reject her simple because I am so resentful of the insults and rejection I perceive from 'the higher ups'. I discover this when I am in a bathroom trying to rearrange my less than adequate clothes to hide my newly discovered male body part.

Penis - procreation, power, aggression. That which penetrates, impregnates with ideas.

Am I trying to hide my power, my ideas and creativity? Is this power newly developed, newly born?