Saturday, August 6, 2005

Guilty Pleasures

There was a thread on my favorite forum, Childless Stepmoms where everyone posted the things they do that they know they shouldn't because they aren't healthy or waste time or something like that. I thought I would post mine here too.

Just of a few of my indulgences....
  • Watching my favorite TV shows: CSI and Star Trek
  • Reading electronic books, CSI and Star Trek if I need a fix and they aren't on or I want a new story not something I already saw.
  • POPCORN!! Eating it while I watch CSI or Star Trek or reading a book makes it even better.
  • Going to the movies (an excuse to eat popcorn and a real escape from reality for me, even if it isn't a movie I really want to see. Some times I just have to go.)
  • Watching anything on TV, just vegging out with the channel changer in my hand, watching about 4 awful shows/movies at a time, trying to keep all the stories straight and not missing anything important.
  • Going to the library and just browsing around, reading books and magazines, pretending I have all the time in the world
  • Chocolate (interspersed with the popcorn, something salty, then something sweet, repeat)
  • Sitting on my reclining chair in my pajamas, posting/reading CSM like I don't have a deadline in the world
  • Buying books. Going to Amazon or to a physical bookstore and selecting several books that catch my eye without worrying about the price.
  • Catalog browsing. One of my favorite games from childhood was going to a store (now I use a catalog or online store) and pretending I have infinite money. What would I buy? If it is a paper catalog, I circle every purchase with a thick red marker. Sometimes I 'buy' everything on the page. The only things I don't 'buy' are things I just don't like, things I wouldn't take if you gave them to me (except as presents from someone really special). I love doing this with Williams-Sonoma or Pottery Barn catalogs. Ahhh my dream kitchen.
  • Reading beautiful cookbooks
All these things seem to have one thing in common, spending with abandon, whether it is calories (or points since I am doing Weight Watchers), money or time. So I guess my ultimate fantasy is that I have unlimited time, unlimited money, and I can eat as much as I want without gaining excess weight. I imagine it is a pretty popular fantasy. Brings to mind the scene from Groundhog Day where Bill Murray sees the beauty in his 'condition': No accountability for his actions.

Monday, August 1, 2005

Morning again

I awake
and the smell of what has happened is in the air
stale beer in bottles upright or fallen or broken
and vinegary hot peppers and onions from the local sub shop
that stays open late
and glass, a plate thrown against a wall
and the sound of alcohol induced sleep
loud with snores and labored exhales

I open the doors and windows to chase
the threats and vulgarity with bird song
to replace the rancid pain drenched air with
cool green freshness
Wearing shoes to protect my feet
I begin to sweep
to make right the wrongs from the night before
To start again again