Saturday, June 5, 2004

Spiritual Cinema

I got this bit of interesting 'spam' yesterday.

Spiritual Cinema Circle, Spiritual Movies and Spiritual Films

THE CIRCLE offers a service that's unique and deeply needed. The CIRCLE gives you a way to bring hours of inspiring entertainment into your life each month, while making an important contribution to the world. In addition, it's an incredible bargain.

Remember, the mainstream movie business literally runs as much on popcorn-sales as ticket-sales. Big, violent action movies bring in audiences that eat those huge $7 boxes of popcorn and those 32-ounce $4 cups of soft drinks. That's why theater-owners want them, and that's why Hollywood makes them. The movies you'll see as a member of The CIRCLE are made with love and passion. They're not made just to sell popcorn.

Basically they send you 3-5 films (short and feature length) on DVD each month for $24 (shipping is extra so it will probably end up being ~$26). The films are selected based on their quality and spirituality or ability to uplift and inspire the viewer. The movies are new films you're unlikely to see anywhere else.

I think I will subscribe. The list for June looks interesting.

Related links

Moving Messages Media

Friday, June 4, 2004


As you can see (if you look) one of the items on my blog to do list has been crossed off. I have registered at Blogarama, Blogwise, and Globe of Blogs. I am not on their listing yet, there is the matter of site verification, but my part is done. Check. As is my usual penchant, I overanalyzed what my keywords should be, what should be in the description (even whether to use my real name or make something up... but that's another story). As I was reading all the possible categories for blogs listed on Globe of Blogs (18 major and in some cases more than 30 sub-categories) I wondered where mine fits and marveled at the variety of interest and knowledge. I wondered why I only have one blog (well, I have 3 but I really only post to one). I have some interest and knowledge about some of those topics, why not me. I guess this desire/obsession relates back to what I wrote in a previous entry describing one possible motivation for blogging as a desire to create a 'digital alter ego' -- a complete and accurate reflection of all that is good and interesting in my internal thought processes. In some ways I feel like a child who is not content to view her toys in the toy box but wants to lay them out on the floor so she can see everything at once. But there are too many to see at one time. So she tries to group them, arrange them in categories with related categories close together. But nothing is satisfactory. One arrangement has the dolls too far from the books and some of the dolls are characters from some of the books. But if the books are close to the dolls then they are too far way from the jigsaw puzzles and that's not right. So in frustration she gathers everything up and throws them into the toy chest in complete disarray, until the next time she opens it and has an idea to put them in some order, to see what is there, and to decide how each object relates to each other object.

It seems there is no hope for me. I can't even keep to a single topic in one post.

Thursday, June 3, 2004


In scamming around for something to write about today I picked a page at random from Creating a Charmed Life.

48. Choose actual over virtual reality

At first I thought this was telling me to stop writing blog entries and actually go and have a discussion with someone. But that wasn't it. Whew!!! Or at least it wasn't the whole 'it'. Moran discusses choosing books that are "in touch with vital thoughts and events" rather than "boring, poorly written books" and other forms of "twaddle". On one hand, I must agree with Moran. I don't watch TV and rarely go to 'popular' movies. I don't follow the lives of movie stars or celebrities. But I worry that too much 'snobbery' is not a good thing. I don't think having ones nose stuck securely in the upper atmosphere guarantees happiness or even encourages it. Some of the most unhappy people I know are like that. I think there are (at least) two reasons for me to avoid snob excess. One is that I really enjoy some low brow stuff. There are times when the only thing I want to read is a Star Trek novel. It is comfort food for my brain. The characters are all my friends and I know nothing too difficult to bear will take place. My life would be poorer without Star Trek in it. It is a way to connect with others and to connect with my younger self. Still I don't want to read Star Trek novels every day.

The second reason for remaining 'grounded in mediocrity' at least part of the time is that deep down I know that is where I belong. I find it hard to justify being so particular and reading only 'good' books, listening to only 'good' music etc when my writing skills, my musical talent, my artistic leanings are mediocre at best. What would that make me? A person who would only join a club that wouldn't take me as its member. And at this point my heart swells for all the mediocre people trying their best to write, to paint, to sing, to compose music. We should ignore them? We should insult them? We should ban them from creating something too twaddle-infested? Sounds like the same kind of snobbery that suggests people of lower intellect should be 'discouraged' from reproducing. So my criteria of REAL is if the person creating it put his/her heart into it and showed a tender part of themselves to the world. How can I reject that? How would rejecting that make me a better or happier person?

Wednesday, June 2, 2004


I have been upset, agitated, and angry the last few days but I didn't know what to write. This evening the feeling was getting out of hand, making me bitchy with everyone so I walked for an hour and tried to work my way through it. It starts with my stepson and his misbehavior, as many of my moods do lately, but I knew it didn't end there and in actuality didn't really start there either. As I was working through my anger at his misdemeanors I started to think about myself at 13. I wasn't a perfect child either. I was moody at times and believed I knew better. I was trying to grow up without any one else's help or advice. In thinking about myself then I didn't like myself. I remembered reading a really touching blog entry Male Order Bride in which the author, Ellie, describes her sixteen year old self on her wedding day. Ellie also writes what she would say to the girl if she saw her now:

If I could stand next to the girl in the photograph today, I would gently remove the veil from her head and take her by the hand to the rock next to the pond, where I would hold her in my arms and rock every last tear out of her. I would tell her it is her uniqueness, her brave spirit, that makes her special. I would remind her that no matter where she is, what road she chooses, what mistakes she makes, it does not make her any less lovable.

Thinking of this during my walk and I cried because I could not be as kind and forgiving to my 13 year old self. I saw only the imperfection of her and how can imperfection be lovable? The path to wholeness and healing seems clear. To embrace and love imperfections, the imperfections of my past selves, of my future selves, of others and of me. But how to do it?

"Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack in everything
It's how the light gets in."
Leonard Cohen -from Anthem (1992)

Tuesday, June 1, 2004

Walt's birthday

Well I missed celebrating Walt Whitman's birthday. It was May 31st. Whitman was born on Long Island but I haven't been to his birthplace. I have been to the Walt Whitman mall. There are two cool things about this mall, one is that the outside is carved with lines from Whitman's poems, (although on the negative side, they just keep repeating the same few lines over and over but, hey, poetry beats advertisments any day) and the second is that there is an Apple store inside.

I CELEBRATE myself, and sing myself,
And what I assume you shall assume,
For every atom belonging to me as good belongs to you.

From Song of Myself by Walt Whitman

On the shore...

This is so cool. I figured out how to post pictures from buzznet to this blog! I still need to work on the formatting etc. But the first step has been accomplished. Since I am trying to become more positive about my own achievements, I will enjoy this success and be proud!

Monday, May 31, 2004

Last of May, tidying....

There are a few snippets that I didn't get to talk about this month.

Two films I watched this month but haven't reviewed yet:

The Crying Game (****)

I know, I know, how could I not have seen that before but I didn't. I really liked it. The idea of a person having an unchanging nature is worth pondering. I guess it is a good thing if it is a positive character trait but what if it is a negative one? Does that mean we cannot improve ourselves? I really don't feel that is correct. It sounds very hopeless to me.

The Funeral (***)

This is a Japaneses film directed by Juzo Itami, who also made "Tampopo" which I really liked. The Funeral was not nearly as funny (it really wasn't funny at all) and it was rather long and tedious. I guess it is an interesting view of Japanese society... maybe I just wasn't in the mood.

Yesterday we visited the Fire Island Light House. Beautiful weather on the beach although a bit too chilly for swimming.

Blog Goal for June

Figure out how to post my own pictures. I have started a photoblog at buzznet but it is still very rough, not ready for viewers. I'll keep you posted.


The Crying Game


The Funeral