I wasn't gonna post today. I am too out of sorts, out of time. I didn't even write much to my friends on CSM. I try to be the supportive one, the helpful one and today I just don't feel up to it. And I have to confess, I started another blog. A secret blog where I can write all the mean stuff that I won't say and I won't write here and I won't even write to my sister. So there! I'm cheating. There is another me! But that still leaves something for me to write here. I thought about looking up an uplifting quote to put here. Honestly, I can't do it. I don't know that I would even know an uplifting quote if I read one. Just about everything is bothering me today. Should I list my complaints -- an ungratitude list? I am still sick, my throat still hurts, I still have too much work to do. I guess tomorrow or the next day or certainly by next week (when this @#*& proposal has been mailed) I will feel better. I know this but it doesn't help right now because I am in a mood that doesn't want help, I spit on help.
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3 comments:
Oh, Tinne. Don't spit on the help that you offer yourself! Be gentle, if you can. I'm so sorry you're having a hard time. You're not cheating with another blog, anyway: you're allowing yourself more avenues of expression, and this can only be a good thing.
I'd wish you a good weekend, but you sound painfully overloaded. I am thinking about you, though, and sending thoughts of healing. I hate being sick.
By all means, start all the blogs you like. No such thing as cheating in this game.
But if you're thinking your readership only wants to hear happy thoughts, or that your pronoia program demands that, I think you're wrong on both counts. I've been astonished at how willing people have been to follow me in and out of the slough of Despond. Personally I'd love to hear you grouch and whine :-) Send me an email with your other url, and I'll keep it a deep dark secret. Hugs --
I think an ingratitude (ungratitude?) journal is a great idea. Sometimes it's good, it moves energy, it unblocks the blocks to stomp and say "I don't like this!" Of course, it's not always that simple. But sometimes that's all it takes to shift.
Also, I agree with Dale about not always only hearing your happy thoughts. I fall into this one myself and I'm somehow always amazed to discover that sharing the pain is part of sharing one's humanity.
Love to you,
Mahala ~ Crystal Lotus
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