Bluebeard

I am currently reading Chapter 2: Stalking the Intruder: The Beginning Initiation of Women Who Run with the Wolves. In this chapter Dr. Estes analyzes the Bluebeard (a similar web version) story. The chapter is long and has a lot of departure points that could be turned into complete essays, so I am trying hard to stay focused.

The woman who marries Bluebeard is naive and out of touch with her wild instincts that would have warned her about him. This can happen in our modern outer life as well. Many women get involved in relationships or situations where they are in danger due to their initial naivete. Bluebird gives his wife all the keys but one of them she is forbidden to use. However she must use this key and follow her curiosity.

In reality, the trivialization of women's curiosity so that it seems like nothing more than irksome snooping denies woman's insight, hunches, intuitions. It denies all her senses. It attempts to attack her fundamental power.

A personal note here. The first time I read (but did not finish) this book I was very disturbed by this and it is probably why I didn't finish reading. There was a strong voice inside me that said, "No, don't open the door, you will ruin everything!" I was really stuck in the 'good girl' mode. Don't do anything they don't want you to do. Don't rock the boat. Just smile. {A real aside, I love the Simpsons episode where Lisa's mom (Marge) tells her to smile no matter what or people won't think Marge is a good mother. Then she sees Lisa smiling as boys are insulting her and she rushes over and says to Lisa she should be however she is and if she is sad she can be sad.}

Regarding this reluctance, Dr. Estes says:

Women strengthen this barrier or door when they engage in a form of negative self-encouragement which warns them not to think or dive too deeply, for "you may get more than you bargained for."

Part of my problem has been not only a fear of loss of all that I have but a fear of seeing "shocking carnage in some part" of my life. Because once you know something, you can't unknow it. Like the key that won't be cleaned, "will not cease to give the cry that something is wrong."

When women open the doors of their own lives and survey the carnage there in those out-of-the-way places, they most often find they have been allowing assassination of their most crucial dreams, goals, and hopes.

Dr. Estes also talks about an internal Bluebeard, an animal groom, the predator, who is a part of every woman's psych.

We dismantle the predator by countering its diatribes with our own nurturant truths. Predator: "You never finish anything you start." Yourself: "I finish many things."

And by doing this inner work of dismantling the predator, lessening its strength, we are making the world a better place for everyone.

...any individuation work done by humans also changes the darkness in the collective unconscious of all humans.

And

By retrieving these powers from the shadows of our psyches, we shall not be simple victims of internal or external circumstances.

I know I have a lot of work to do. A lot of keys to find, a lot of doors to open, and a lot of blood and destruction to view, but now, finally, I am ready to do the work. To tiptoe down the rickety stairs to the deep dark basement.