Ambiguity and Contradiction

John's post got me thinking about ambiguity and contradiction. So I did what I usually do when I am starting to think... I google it. I found a few more quotes:

I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next. Delicious Ambiguity.
Gilda Radner (1946-1989)

I love this quote. This is a lot like how I view life although I haven't gotten to the stage where I can honestly say 'delicious ambiguity'. Maybe I can pretend say it, like, look at me I understand something profound, but I can't really say it because I really hate not knowing what is going to happen next. I also really hate when what happens next is not what I was planning to happen. I especially hate when what happens next is totally the opposite of what I wanted to happen. Now I am living with this displeasure and beginning to accept it, beginning to let it go, beginning to say "ok, it doesn't matter" with a touch of honesty, with a molecule of sincerity. Right now it is not delicious but I can manage to gag it down and keep it there.

Do I contradict myself? Very well then I contradict myself, (I am large, I contain multitudes).
Walt Whitman (1819-1892)

This quote is also great (would I put them here if I didn't love them?). On the surface it may not seem spiritual but rather arrogant, sort of I am above the law of logic and consequence. And maybe that is what it is about partially but its not arrogance. To me he is saying that we are humans, three dimensional beings that have good and evil, happy and sad, black, white and 256 shades of gray inside us. Yes, it is inside us. This reminds me of the film Pleasantville when David (Bud) is telling Big Bob, the mayor of the city, that he has all these emotions and colors inside him. What is keeping Big Bob or me from experiencing all these contradictions? Fear. In my case, it is mostly fear of contradicting myself, fear of being wrong, fear of turning out to be someone I didn't expect to be. It is very reassuring to say to myself, I am large, I contain multitudes. It means that when I do something not-so-nice, when I think something terrible, (think of the Tori Amos song I can be cruel/I don't know why/Why can't my balloon stay up/In a perfectly windy sky) it doesn't mean I am a terrible, evil person, it means I am large, large enough to contain good and evil, like everybody, and not be evil. So that means, you contain good and evil, and that guy who cut me off today on my way to work contains some good too.

The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in the mind at the same time, and still retain the ability to function.
F. Scott Fitzgerald (1896 - 1940)

This is an interesting exercise. Have you ever tried it? The difficulty increases with your attachment to one of the ideas. For instance, if you don't care if a certain country wins the most gold medals in the Summer Olympics, you can hold in your mind any number of countries winning. It doesn't matter to you. But what about something your really care about. For me that would be more like the abortion issue or capital punishment or something else that I feel strongly about. That is when I am challenged to hold the opposing view in my mind at the same time. But I believe that it is important to attempt, not because it proves you are highly intelligent, but because it protects you from dogmatism and radicalism. I remember reading a book about the Dalai Lama (may have been The Art of Happiness: A Handbook for Living) and the author asked the Dalai Lama a question that the author later admitted sounded very arrogant and presumptuous on his part. What inspired the author was that the Dalai Lama took time to consider both sides (the author's and his own) before answering. Just by the act of pausing and once again considering both points of view, you prevent yourself from reacting, you give your self the opportunity to chose once again what you believe to be the best choice.